dEprResSed.......

guys.......
i really need ur help!!!

medic students especially....

i have symptoms:
i really need explanations of all these:

1) i feel sleepy even after the whole nite of sleep in my bed wit a nice dream of my 'prince charming'...
2) i kicked my rum door while in my rum there's my rum8 on phone with her 'so-called' bf...
3) i feel like eating an icecream from Walls' ice box in coop while i know there's nothing inside it...
4) i spent my whole nite wit my 'fiancee-to-b' witout talking to 'him' even a word...
5) i want to eat 100 tablets of sleeping pills so dat when my phone ringing, it will left with 100 miscalls from my 'fiancee-to-b' calls...
6) i want to change myself wit '42,42,41' boy so dat i'll impressed all my teachers...except 'tok'

the most important thing, these symptoms will only gone if i finish my.....

...Extrinsic Enemy...

hEaDinG t0 tHe pEaK....

huhuhu.....

i want it.....

i want to....

but........

i dun want to......

i hope to.......

i think that........

hahaha???

lost??

so do i....

It feels like sumthing is repeating over again...

What if one day sumbody 'voice out' his/her feeling towards u??

N u have no courage to say 'no' to it??

But at the same time a part of ur 'brain' saying 'yes' about it??

Then u live happily…

U reach the peak of ur 'product life cycle'…

But as time goes on, the graph changed to be 'inversely proportional'...

Is life unfair??

Sumbody said 'life sucks but it's fair'

I feel the same as well….

Myb coz our 'brain' has bonded together n inseparable…

How can I be certain on it??('objective knowledge'??)

But now……

Nothing's left for me to think of…

Coz 'inseparable' changed to b 'unreachable'…

It's so sudden…

A year later………

A fren of u had the same situation like what u've experienced…

The difference is that he/she is able to say 'no'…

He/she had an opportunity to not repeating the same mistake like urs…

The matter is that…

How shud u feel??

Hepy for him/her??

Or sorry to urself??

Can u actually congrats he/she for their felicity??

But at the same time u want to cry for ur regrettable decision dat u have made once…

U always said to urself…

If only I could turn back the time….

Specially dedicated to ; Hana Fareena…wish u the best on ur besday!!this is ur bestday ever…sorry for cry at this day...

sUm0nE t0 DiStrAct uR aTTenti0n @ sUmB0dY f0r u t0 h0lD 0n t0 wHen tHe Imp0rtAnt pErs0n iS n0T aR0unD???

"amboi...ck82 'die'...ck82 'die'...sejak ble ni??"

"la....ape plak...da aku x jmpe org len y btol2 pay attention..ko pun blur...bdk blkg ni wat keje len..aku tnye r die..."

"yela tu...bukan die pilihan ke2 ke??"

sp0tted!!!!!gossip girl here..ur one and only source into the scandalous life of MARA College Banting's elite...and who am i???that's a secret i never tell...u know u love me...x.o.x.o gossip girl!!!

is this the real life of me @ this only happened to peoples around me???

i always remind myself....
guys shud have 1 real destination....

and i just found new philosophy....
gurls need to flirt around to find the best guy that really loves u...

wah........i'm confused...

want to b 1 of that 'gurls'....
or stick with general statement...
'gurl cannot love more than 1 guy in a time'???

back to 1st situation....
some ppl know that i'm a broken hearted person a.k.a KOYAK rite now...
shud i let 'the feeling of belonging' away...
expand my focus??

whatever....
the most important thing is...
IB exam is just 76 days more....

f0rGivE aNd ForGet...cAn I??

this is not the 1st time...

this is 2nd time of the presentation...

never thought it happened again...

what should i do???

myb i shud forgive n forget....

but...

will i happy with dat???

will it changed evrything???

can i still feel the same way like before???

where are all the praises gone???

where are all happiness gone to???

n d most important thing...

where were u???

when i reached the bottom part of my life...

u weren't there...

when i cried...

i was looking for ur shoulder...

or at least ur words...

can u imagine how i felt???

u make me cried in front of others...

but i realised that...

i do have frens wit me...

i do have them to comfort me...

i think i will just ok...

if i have them wit me...

coz i they are truly love me...

there are here...

always...

wit me....

thank guys...

about u.........

i never thought it will ends like this...

it's so sudden...

a week ago...

i still can feel the tenderness of ur love...

but suddenly it flies nowhere i knew...

even no last word been heard...

i kept asking...

who am i actually???

for u...

in ur life???

iT jUsT a NiteMare........

feel like i just wake up from a long sleep
everything like a nitemare
last nite, with all the spirit
i tried to make the best for today's important event
but i never thought it becomes the worst
sometimes i feel like i shud stand up
once i fall it never means i will always at the bottom

i should not give up....

There's a meeting with sponsor representative diz afternoon...
i dunnow whether i should welcomed them or just ignore them...
well... they are nice actually...
thanks God that only Miss Naemah came with 2 other unknown pples...
they showed us a slides of our seniors...it encouraged us to b like them....
it makes me feel like i am one of them....
i have to do a lot of things.....
just to make sure i get the success....

the DILEMMA of me...

1st situation....
"Umi, i feel like want to go to ur houz diz weekend. can i?" i asked umi when i called her last tues.

"sure, y not. do u have any plan?" umi asked me back.

"well, picnic sounds great. i hope to go to beach to relase my tension now. i've been so stressful wit my works."my complaint to her 'bout IB basically. why not?? dr said that i'm too stress and lack of rest when i meet him last week.

"there're no more beach here honey. well, i'll bring u to tg bidara if u insist to go to beach," she sounds very serious while i was just joking 'bout the beach.

2nd situation....
"mak, rase nak g melaka la hujung minggu ni." this time i have a short conversation with my biological mom (my only mom n dad now).

"nak watpe?" she asked me back.

"saje..umi ckp nak bwk jln2. nak release tension la.. asik study je..nak rehat plak.."

at the back, i heard my brother's voice "Long, aku nak hp..."

shoot...now i have to choose either one.. going to malacca or my mom's houz...i'm in dilemma..i promised my brother to going back asap to return his phone that i borrowed coz my phone was broke down last sem break. but now i got my phone back.. so i have to return his phone back...
should i just cancel my plan to malacca right away or just looking for another reason to delay the return.. two days went out with no decision.. at Thurs nite, i ended up by saying that i'll going to both places. dont have to choose... but i shorten my visit to malacca..no more prob rite??
i got my time with my adopt parents (once) and my own family...my weekend bring me a big smile then...

I miSS my LasT Time...

i Love Mango...
i Love orange colour as well...
it never change....it will be THE SAME...

i missed my past...
sometimes, i felt like i'm not belong here...
this isn't MY PLACE...
this isn't MY WORLD...
but no matter how much i REGRETTING on being here, it won't change anything...

what should I DO now??
thinking of past will never help...
it just make things even worse...
think of something that might be changed the whole story... THE STORY OF ME...
for the next few years,
i want my life completely different from what i've get through now...
there's nothing that can change my future EXCEPT ME, MYSELF AND I....