let things go, asza

well, wut a bad day....
i was my besday...
but, i didnt feel gud on dat day...
ya,
thing's didnt go well...
i cant go anywhere...
then, how cud i clbr8??
never mind if i didnt have chance to clbr8...
but the saddest thing is dat,
i missed last year's besday,
well,
it juz a year,
but lots of things changed...
i cudnt turn back d time...
so, i juz can let go thing...
dat's all...
i missed everything...
missed to stay up all nite to study for a test or exam...
missed to study wif my grupmate...

wut's my direction...
i'm lost...
ya,...
i'm lost...
dat's d most important thing...

myb it's juz over.....

i cant forgive myself..... i tried to change thing but i failed..... wrong decision dat i made..... hard life i had..... i still hoping to get a miracle..... myb it juz me..... me..... easily influenced..... when i'm going to b strong..... can i accept separation??..... dun think so..... i gave up in him..... dat's it..... my life devoted to The Almighty..... my family n frens..... no more..... b patient on dem..... all i can do.....

no title

i'm juz tryin' to b nice to everyone...
no matter who...
even if dat person is my enemy...
even i hate 'dem very much...
u noe,
ppl can say wutever dey want...
wut dey think is wut dey see...
dey simply made their own judgement on everything...
sumtimes, i juz dun get it...
dey blame ppl like all those bad thing happen intentionally...
am i d one to blame??

well....
i alwez say diz to my fren...
'juz leave him, he treat u like a slave..'
then when almost d same thing happen on me...
i juz dun realised it
i thought it juz a help dat i want to offer
but it ends up dat he said d same thing...
(but it wasnt dat mean la...)
am i letting ppl to using me as their slave??
i dun think so...
i juz trying to b nice to everyone...(again)

never mind...
ppl dunnow wut happen...
even dat ppl is sumone who u thought really understands u...
tired of thinking n take care of other's heart...
meanwhile i'm hurt...
despite all those thing,
i still appreciate d existance of ppl around me...
u guys cheer up my life...
bring me a smile dat i'll remember even when i'm crying...
b my companion...
dat's all i wish for...

----------------------------

.........last birthday..........

well......tu tgn farah...
last year aku kne prank kat court volley dpn guys...
x pnh kot kne prank camtu...
siap kne g ds ag pastu...
truk gler aku kne ngan dak2 volley...
tp u guys,
tu la y aku rndu taun ni....
fara, wawa dah kat india
ape kabar kecik, maziyah n yam??
fareen kat mas ag...
tp ssh sgt nak jmpe die....
sdeyhnyer...


on d nyte of my besday,
jyi men gitar...
siap nyanyi lagu y die tulis sndri...
dgn aliah,
fareen...
best gler...


syg korg sume...
hope u guys happy no matter where u r...
remember all sweet memories...
love u guys...

empty bed

lying on my bed
in d dark
no lite at all
alone
looking for 'him' in d darkness
found 'him' nowhere
where 'he' gone to
grab my phone
dah....there's a source of lite
i cud see my bed now
well, 'he' still nowhere here

go to d call list
1st name on call list
i made a call
'his' voice heard
pergh...relief
'he's' there
owh...i got a nytemare
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2 hours later....

'if u really2 noe me, wut's my hobby?'
'dunnow which one...but u love reading novels, collecting bookmarks...or myb made guys cry..haha...'
'wow...i'm impressed...u cud rmember all....but d last one is wrong...'
'well, c d leg...hahaha..i'll help u collect bookmarks..we go buy new novel n help me to choose novel later when u come to mine k'
'ok...'
'ok, wuts my hobby?'
'fishing...'
'nope'
'teasing me, arent u?'
'nope...i'm serius...'
'ok...i'm d worst fren ever....'
'haha'
'then wut?'
'talking 2 u...chatting w u'
'ok...since when'
'since we both in love...'
'oh...'
'haha...u r rite...love fishing too'
'bring me when u go fishing next time'
'but u wont like it...'
'i'm not d spoiled gurl until i cant b in jungle for more than an hour'
'ok then...'
'really want to try sumthing else wif u...(even act all d things we made is diff from others)'
'really2 want to go to bkt cerakah wif u...'
'next time i guess...i'll come to urs then we go...'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

stay or moving on???

help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tired of having diz feeling...
insecure....
i have him now...
but wut will happen next year??
next month??
i tried to not taking 'us' to serius...
of coz...
i dun want it to b dat way,tho...
he's leaving...
he left...
he's not wut i want...
tired of guys...

but...
i used to have him...
used to b wif him...
used to have him all d times....
wish diz will remains....
forever...

...d chocolate run...

bought new novel
titled 'the chocolate run'
it's a story of how a bestfren changed to b a lover
mate bcame a sleeping partner
nice story

i was wif him
hang out after meet plce officer regarding my case
supposed we watched muvie or karoke
while waiting we have a look at bookstores
i was looking for a reading materials
for leisure
thought of malay novel
but nutin intresting
move to romance rack
found diz novel
show it to him
he smiled
he had d same as i in my mind
juz like us
but a bit diff
a lot i guess
once i read few chapters

then
we had lunch at chicken rice shop
i was thinking of eating 'tako'
but not jusco made
AC made
usually ate wif him at subang
missed dat moment so much

then i proposed
why dun we juz go to s alam
cancel d plan to pd
his eyebrows meet each other
'why?'
' i want to eat tako at AC'
'y dun u ask earlier..its noon already...traffic jamm n i'm quit tired..'
ya...pity him
s alam n semban is not dat near
take more than an hour to reach
then i said
'ok...juz pd'

he left me sumwhere while he get his stuff n bringing back trifle pudding to his home
while waiting, i read d novel
funny
likes d way d author write it

went to pd
looking for d best place
take a rest until 8
around 8.30 go get our besfren to go to bagan lalang
ikan bakar is d menu dat nite
dlicious
i ate 1 and half plate of rice
and d nyte ends nicely

d chocolate run again....
again....
and again....


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